RAMBLINGS OF A RACONTEUR

Harpies and The Hague

No sooner than failed mayoralty candidate Tooker Gomberg had vacated the office and flown off to The Hague in perpetual protest, this time to burn his passport (keep him there, please!), the Green Party had moved into his former election campaign office on Gerrard St. E., near Parliament. The Greens, who stand for the environment, are not afraid of being haunted by Tooker's playful ghost, but some are shocked to see plastic bows adorning the building with their own sign all done up in good old PVC.

Vintage T.O

Council's recent inaugural was vintage T.O., and bound to bring a few snickers from those salt-of-the-earth countryside folk surrounding the Big Smoke. Piped in by a bagpiper were the mayor and his Missus, she with only a red rose in her hat to break the black in which she was completely draped. The only member of council noticeably AWOL was Smilin' Jack Layton, who was, of course, attending a housing meeting and only able to be there in the flesh for the later reception. John Clarke and company from the Ontario Coalition Against Poverty (OCAP), (lock up your dogs and horses) invaded the reception delving into the hors d'ourves, and mingling almost unnoticed with the stuffed shirts on council. One soured-on-life activist type lectured the young daughter of Coun. Sherene Shaw, trying to give the 10-year-old a guilt trip by mentioning the quality and quantity of the finger food. "We were just trying to be happy for a change." quipped the child in a retort remindful of the old adage, "Out of the mouths of babes."

Hobbling Horses

Lucky, Caligua's horse, is long dead. Upset that he didn't get what he wanted, Coun. Paul Sutherland, compared Mayor Mel Lastman to the hothead Roman emperor. According to Sutherland, Caligua treated his senate like a "bunch of donkeys" and managed to get his running dogs to name his horse a member of the Roman senate. (Unlike Toronto councillors who get their wives and children on their office payroll). It's a good thing Caligua's horse wasn't at council's inaugural. In a repeat of more recent history, OCAP may have tried to hobble the horse like the police horses at last summer's Queen's Park protest.

The Whine Cellar

In the crybaby fest of councillor claims that committee appointments were conducted in private, soon after election and long before they had a chance to lobby for them, the no-nonsense Coun. Doug Holyday managed to turn the table on Mayor Mel Lastman about who was really doing the whining. How this same crop of recycled councillors can act upstaged about the fix being in on the committee assignments after the same thing happened in 1997 is beyond most of us plebes. As far as councillor whiners are concerned, most little folk who actually work for a living know that the municipal level of government is the `whine' cellar of politics.

The Prayer of Sandra Bussin

Beaches Coun. Sandra Busssin, still smarting that Mel Lastman backed her election opponent, feigned surprise that she got everything she wanted when plum committee appointments were being handed out. Administration, audit, board of health, policy and finance, and chair of the nominating committee should mean more work and less talk from the loquacious Ms. Bussin. "I didn't anticipate that everything I asked for would be granted," Bussin said. She obviously never heard of the old saying, "Don't pray too hard for what you want. You might get it."

Last Call

A political wag close to Toronto Free Press leaves a question to ponder when most folk will have their feet up for the Christmas holidays. Having recently spotted John (Methuselah) Sewell on his bike downtown, he says, "He had a bike when he was mayor, made a point of riding it around after he was defeated and rode around on a bike all the while he was fighting amalgamation and showing up unannounced on a Sunday at the home of then municipal affairs minister Al Leach." Knowing it is slightly younger than Smilin' Jack's, "How old is John Sewell's bicycle, anyway," the wag demands to know.